Written in the Stars
by stironniganisreal
Summary: Months following Aven's defeat, Kaiden and Alex are spending some downtime together when certain rocky topics lead to Alex's insecurities questioning their relationship.


**I have a legitimate addiction to TMC. Help.**

 **Spoiler alert! Also, Alex's parents are dead in this, mostly because I have never written any post-Aven fanfiction to date where they're actually alive.**

 **Disclaimer: I am not Lynette Noni**

Cool ocean winds hushed across the cliff top, having driven away the last of the scorching summer heat from earlier that day, the rumble of thundering waves carrying in the wind. It was even cooler on the roof of the house, a questionable location to hang out with her boyfriend when there was an entire house - and cliff top - below them, but the roof was the best option. There was no chance anyone could eavesdrop on them, and no pesky interruptions when it came to the kissing.

That, and the view from up there was fairly spectacular.

Comforted by the customary warmth and strength of her boyfriend's arms holding her close, Alex was on the point of dozing off when a sudden shriek of a seagull caused her eyes to fly open and her startled body to jerk. Ignoring her boyfriend's chuckles, Alex narrowed her eyes in displeasure at the gull.

The seagull darted out of view, as if ashamed by its actions. Alex transferred her glare to her still shamelessly laughing boyfriend. "It's not funny."

"Sure it is." When she continued to glare at him, he smothered his laughter and leaned over to gently brush his lips against his own. His dive for redemption had exactly the intended effect; instantly the world around her faded, like it always did when Kaiden kissed her, her mind focusing on the pressure of his mouth, her hands sliding into his hair.

"You can be an idiot when you want to," Alex murmured as he pulled away.

"Yeah, but I'm your idiot."

Alex wasn't sure whether to roll her eyes or smile widely at his response, choosing to break eye contact and snuggle even closer into him, tucking her head into the crook of his neck. Knowing that if she closed her eyes she'd drift off, Alex forced her eyes to remain open, locking them onto the sky.

Absently, she ran her eyes over the patterns of the stars. Having grown up constantly travelling, she was no amateur when it came to picking out the constellations. But now, for the first time, she realised something. There weren't any constellations in the Medoran midnight sky. Or, at least, ones she recognised.

"Never thought you were a star gazer," Kaiden whispered in her ear, his warm breath fanning across her skin sparking an eruption of goosebumps across her neck.

Alex shook her head to clear it of her nolstagic thoughts. Frowning slightly, she responded, "I'd be a lot more of one if I actually knew what I was looking for."

"As in, constellations?" At Alex's confirming nod, the hand that wasn't wrapped tightly around her body, reached across both their bodies and curled around her outside wrist. Manipulating her hand into a single-fingered point, he steadily raised it to the sky, a little to the west. Following the outline of five gleaming stars vaguely resembling the Cancer constellation, Alex focused on it to imprint its form in her mind.

"What's that called?"

"Ruepius." She briefly broke her visual recital of the constellation to remember Kaiden's pronounciation. _Roo-pee-us_. "It's the foremost one in the western part of the sky that you can navigate with. The line that levels with the middle and furthest western stars points directly towards the west."

Alex nodded, filing away the information. Rubbing her thumb across the skin of his hand to let him know she was ready to move on, Kaiden redirected her outstretched finger, this time towards the southeast. The constellation this time was basically a reversed Southern Cross. "Kempra." _Chem-pra_. "See the middle star? That's always the first star to come out. It's often called the amphitheatre constellation, since the other stars surrounding the middle one, thus the nickname."

The constellation-directing and naming continued. Qu'oris. Lythraan. Cylas. T'Challa. It was only when they reached the constellation hovering directly above them did Kaiden's voice waver and the arm around her tighten, drawing her closer than ever.

"Octavia." It was the first name that Alex had heard that didn't sound distinctly foreign or exotic. As far as she knew, it had Roman background. So what was a Roman-named star doing in a Medoran sky?

When she told Kaiden this, he only smiled sadly. "See, that doesn't mean anything to me." he said, dropping her wrist and touching his fingertips to her cheek tenderly. When Alex's eyes focused in him, he explained, "The only thing it means to me is that it's the constellation my mum was named after."

Alex's mouth fell ajar at his statement, an image of his parents' headstones flashing across his mouth. Yes, his mum's name was Octavia. Such a pretty name. No wonder why he had suddenly held her close, the haunted veil in his eyes he was trying to hide from her. Kaiden's grief over his parents - and the tragedy in his early childhood - was something he rarely brought up - with anyone. But it was clear that whenever the topic aroused, and from the sudden displays of affection on his part when it happened, that he liked having her presence there.

It wasn't something she ever asked him about, just like how he never asked for details on what happened in past Meya. They knew enough, and that knowledge was all they were ever going to share.

He pulled her in and kissed her cheek meaningfully. "Nisha used to tell me that since the Octavia constellation was directly in the sky ... well, it meant my mum was always watching over us."

Alex's chest tightened at the layer of pain in his voice. She hated seeing him like that, hated seeing that dark sadness that he so desperately tried to hide. She hated seeing that unreachable, unfixable aspect of him. She too might be an orphan, but somehow, loosing parents in the way Kaiden had seemed so much more cruel than her own had been.

Because, if she wanted to be honest with herself, she hated that she couldn't help Kaiden with that, when he at least tried to help her with ... well, just about everything. Sometimes Alex felt like there was an inbalance in their relationship - he was everything to her. Her protector, her confidant, her fighting partner, her rock, as well as her boyfriend. But to Kaiden, what was she, apart from his girlfriend?

 _I don't deserve you._

Sucking in a suddenly jagged breath, Alex whispered out the only things she could say, to not indicate her escalating thoughts. "She would be, Kaid. She'd be the proudest mum alive."

Kaiden pressed a distracted kiss into her hair. "Not as proud as yours, I'll bet."

Alex snorted quietly. "No, she's probably up there shaking her head and tutting about my lack of ambition."

"That's a load of crap, and you know it."

Jittery and irritable from her earlier thoughts, Alex replied snappishly, "Oh, come on, Kaid. I helped defeat a Meyarin, but what else do I have going for me? _Nothing_." The startled look on his face prompted Alex to jerk out of his arms and sit up, threading her fingers through her hair in agitation.

He sat up beside her, setting a soothing arm on her shoulder but not anything further. When she shot him a sour look through her suddenly blurry eyes, Kaiden's eyes flashed with determination, but his voice stayed gentle as he said, "Alex, you have anything else going for you _but_ 'nothing'."

Huddling up into a protective ball, Alex propped her chin on her knee and fastened her eyes on the distant constellation of Cylas. "I don't even understand why everyone harps on about me," she said, the bitter words pouring out of her mouth unfiltered. "I'm selfish and impulsive and reckless, and I only survived out of pure luck, and I've done nothing but cause trouble."

"Hey," Kaiden said sharply. "That is _far_ from the truth."

"It is the truth!"

"No, it's not!" Kaiden released an incredulous bark of laughter. "You are none of those things. You're funny and selfless and forgiving and amazingly compassionate, when you have every right to be none of those things after everything you've been through. You're the strongest, smartest girl I know."

"You're only saying that because -" Alex couldn't finish her sentence, suddenly choked up with emotion. She hated fighting with him, just like she hated not being good enough for him, and almost as much as she hated seeing his dark sadness.

Kaiden seized her moment of weakness as an opportunity: wrapping his arms tightly around her body and pulling her flush against him. Alex froze, before the warring emotions within her melted together into a single urge. Accepting his embrace, she curled against him.

"Never say that again, okay?" Kaiden breathed. "Promise me. Promise me that you'll accept the fact that you're an amazing girl, that I could live a thousand lifetimes for and still never deserve."

Alex tensed at his use of the words. "You've got it all wrong," she mumbled into his collarbone. A vague compartment of her mind pondered if it was the one he'd broken during his SAS trials. "You don't deserve me - when, truly, _I_ don't deserve _you_."

Kaiden chuckled. "Looks like I'd better change your mind then."

"I'm a stubborn girl."

"I know. And it's one of the many, _many_ things I love about you."

 **Scratch that: I have an addiction to Kailex. Like oh geez. I've gotta write for something else sooner or later.**

 **Please remember to leave a review to let me know what you think!**


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